I know I’m not alone in this, but do you remember how you feel when you believe you have let people down? I feel like that tonight!
I had to propose a strategy for our work here in Haiti that required me thinking rationally and, in many ways, unemotionally. I had to argue the strategy, I had to defend it and explain it to the decision makers (as I should). And then when we agreed on the strategy, when the theoretical had been examined to within an inch of its hypothesis I had to implement it.
That’s when the theoretical becomes personal. Today, when I had to stand before a group of earthquake survivors and deliver the news, and outline the strategy – when I had to watch the looks on their faces and see the reactions in their eyes, that’s when I needed to know why I believe that what I am doing is the right and best thing.
When they reacted by yelling at us, as many would; when they accused us of broken promises, as some do; when they pleaded their case, as we all would – that’s when the hypothetical hurts.
Rationally I believe the decision is right, emotionally I feel like a real lousy person. No matter how good the strategy, no matter how well researched and examined, today I felt like I let people down that relied on me and needed me to be on their side.
