There’s a story about a New York Times reporter who interviewed Mother Teresa. He followed her for a day as background for a story. After a few hours, they had walked only two blocks, stopping repeatedly as she knelt to pray and hug the poor living on the streets. He finally blurted out, “How do you ever expect to be successful when the need here is so overwhelming?” After a few moments of silence, she responded, “It never occurred to me to be successful. I’m just trying to be obedient.”
By all accounts, Mother Teresa was an exceptional humanitarian worker. She was someone you would be proud to know. Since her death in 1997, she has been nominated for formal sainthood in the Roman Catholic Church. Few would doubt her deep faith, sincere motives, and far-reaching effectiveness. Yet, many were shocked when her private diaries revealed that she was tortured by a growing sense of unworthiness and nagging questions about whether God had abandoned her.
Rather than the result of a lack of faith, I suspect Mother Teresa may have been the victim of vicarious trauma resulting from decades of work with victims of poverty, famine, and disease. Perhaps she was eventually exhausted and overcome by the human suffering that surrounded her. She took on the emotional wounds of others, leading to her own mental and spiritual depletion.
I suspect she's not alone! Research and clinical experience demonstrate that this is a common experience for many who work in caring ministries. More than 25% of us have struggled with emotional problems caused or made worse by the work we do. The things you’ve done, seen, and heard have changed you deeply and permanently. You may be stronger and wiser than ever, but you may also feel sadder, less optimistic, or even numb. Helping hurts!
We all know this, Yes? That's why it is important to be aware and sensitive of one another - that's why team works so well. Sure, we need to build our own resilience - know why we do what we do, know our values, understand our beliefs and recognise our attitudes. We need to recognise how we will respond and react - allow ourselves to be, don't pretend to be superhuman and invincible. But perhaps most of all we need to support one another - and, when necessary, do that thing that comes hard to most of us - ask for help.
This work we do, can (has and will) take its toll, but as we look for ways to travel one another's journey, to share each other’s load, we build much more than individual resilience - we build a sustainable and transformative team – and we build and hold on to hope!
“There is a saying in Tibetan;
'Tragedy should be utilised as a source of strength.'
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is,
if we lose our hope, that's our real disaster.”
(Dalai Lama XIV)
