A middle aged man stares back down the passage of his life. On each side of the brightly lit corridor colourful doorways lead to intriguingly unique rooms; there are not many pastel colours, there are a few shadows and a couple of the inevitable draughty spots and in one or two places the floorboards protest as weight is applied – but there is an irresistible sense of brightness, excitement, fulfilment and completeness.
This week he gently, tentatively closes a very familiar door, this one a trinity of bright splashes: red, yellow and blue. The door will not be sealed shut and it will not become a museum, but for now he cannot hide in what has become a comfort zone. But, this is just another room in the passage - albeit the biggest and the most comfortable, it is the room that has defined and empowered him for almost 25 years. Other doors are marked by the memories and experiences that have sometimes guided, sometimes pushed him to the threshold where now he stands.
One of the first and most significant doors, marked by a stylised lion on a field of red, orange and green, leads to the place where he learnt what it means to be “other”. His parents, through their faithfulness, their passion for God and love for others taught him what it means to have God on his side, to be available – and perhaps most importantly to be willing to lay down his life for others. His parents showed him what it means to be a Salvation Army officer, and the people of Sri Lanka showed him what true faithfulness looks like – trust in the face of profound uncertainty and even disaster.
The biggest of the anterooms, marked by a burst of the brightest colours, has been the most influential. Here, the memories of marriage and fatherhood fail to be contained by the door; they spill out into every part of the house, like oose these experiences seep under doors, they break through the windows of other rooms – these are simultaneously the informants that have made the man what he is, and the fuel that has carried him on. His wife taught him about acceptance and love, she taught him that he is good enough, but that he also has the potential to be more – she encouraged him to be the person God created him to be. His daughter gave him a reason to care what the future looks like, and she helped him stay real, connected and passionate.
So, the new door has opened and I am getting used to a new colour, sometimes it all seems overwhelming and I just want to retreat to what I know – but then God reminds me that God is pleased because I will remain faithful to my calling, ‘to proclaim the gospel, to love and serve God, to live to win souls and make their salvation the first purpose of my life, to care for the poor, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, love the unlovable, and befriend those who have no friends’ – for now I will fulfil that calling by means of a new orange vehicle.
