WHEN ALL WE HAVE IS NOT ENOUGH

The distributions are complete: in the last two weeks we have given over 7,000 cots to about 3,600 families. Today as the last cot was thrown off the truck there was a combined sigh of relief from one or two of us, and a moan of disappointment as about 150 families realised they were missing out. It wasn't ideal - but it was reality.

As we got to the last row in the truck I called the UN Commander over and explained the situation, we looked together at the numbers, and realised that we had the potential for a riot. There were all kinds of suggestions from well meaning people, but the reality was we didn't have enough. But we would of had enough if:

• the 120 people that got through the system and got two lots had not been selfish
• a number of cots had not been stolen from the warehouse and sold for personal gain
• some of our payed employees had not taken cots during the four days

It continues to disappointment me that selfishness is the default of humanity. There are many that fight this urge daily and moment by moment, there are many that are generous and selfgiving - I know many. But in this context when people are fighting for survival there are two sides: I can understand people scrambling to get all they can, but then I find myself annoyed because in doing so they deprive someone weaker, or less fortunate.

As the cots decreased people began to get more and more vocal, the UN soldiers got closer and closer and the atmosphere became electric with the tension and the disappointment. I took cots off people that were not supposed to have them only to receive a look of complete surprise: one member of our staff asked why she couldn't have two: I wanted to say because I have seen you take cots before today. But instead I explained that we paid her to help us, enough for her to buy cots, we didn't pay these others. Her response: you don't pay me enough, give me more!

There are some that will never be satisfied - but in my experience these selfish people are the minority. The overwhelming majority thanked us, shook our hands and smiled - even one or two that got nothing today.